Movember

November 26, 2011

Some of you already know, I’ve been growing a little tache for Movember, now I’ve reached the stage that it is visible I thought I’d go public.

Its not just a shadow

Movember is about two things, one is raising awareness about mens health, the other is raising cash for mens health.

Lets deal with the first one : Men – check your balls. Ladies – make sure your men check their balls, or check them for them. Either way from this point on, when ball checking is taking place, you will be reminded of my beaming moustachioed face, and find it difficult to dislodge that image from your until ball checking has ended. I’m glad to have done my little bit.

And the raising money bit – Money raised by Movember goes to useful things like the institute of cancer research. Which you never know, with my new career direction, they may fund research I contribute to in the future. So you could either donate to Movember or just give me a fiver when you see me, whatever works for you.

I’ve not set myself any personal goals, growing a moustache has been a bit of fun this month, and more importantly it helps me fit in with the “Dalston Set” now that I hang around East London. But if you do  fancy donating a few quid you can do it in general at the Movember website (I know I’m not the only one who’s been cultivating facial hair this month), you can do it on my “mospace” – http://mobro.co/unyans , or you might want to donate to a particular charity that they support

The Prostate Cancer Charity

The Institute of Cancer Research

You may even feel that you’d be more comfortable giving your money elsewhere, maybe you can use this as a chance to make a wee donation to a charity more close to your heart than this one.

So if you’ve read this, seen a picture of me with a dirty, slightly ginger, moustache, and maybe even had a little chuckle when I spoke about you thinking of my face when you touch yourself, use it as an opportunity to donate some money to a charity of your choice, or even give a quid to your local tramp.

I’ll post a final pic of the tache when it’s finished, for those who can’t wait here’s a link to my previous post where I documented some temporary moustaches during a heavy shaving session

https://unyans.wordpress.com/2008/03/23/i-left-my-beard-in-auckland-just-doesnt-have-a-ring-to-it/

Also, I think you should all listen to the new Kate Bush album.

I’ll leave you in peace now

Dave xx

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Glastonbanter

July 1, 2010

Hello, my first blog posting in about 18 months, I’m afraid it’ll probably be a one off but just wanted to write a wee summary of the lovely weekend I spent with friends in a field in Somerset.

Lineup

Dave, Jenny, Macca, Sam, Greg, Gav, Edd, Jamie Smith & Indie Martin, with a special guest apearance from Indie Willie

Best Entrance

Not much competition here, with 99.9% of bands shambling on stage, however the exception (and hence the existence of this award category) was The Flaming Lips. The sight of the band emerging from a giant flashing vagina, followed by Wayne Coyne in a large plastic bubble (which appeared to have been an egg laid by the aforementioned vagina) zorbing on top of the crowd, takes some beating.

Best Band

A few choices here, Flaming Lips in contention again (Great fun), The National (Solid, high quality Rock n Roll), Phoenix (Got the weekend started), but the winner has to be… Thom Yorke. Pretty special moment to see him play a bit of slap bass up on the Park stage. And Jonny hit those first few beats of Idioteque you knew something special was happening. All this was after we’d wound Greg up that Thom Yorke was going to be playing a secret gig, it turned out true in the end. Brilliant.

Worst band

Not often best and worst band is won by the same person, but Thom Yorke’s hair band? Absolutely shocking. I appreciate Wimbledon is on at the moment, but surely there’s no excuse for it…

Photos here : http://www.bbc.co.uk/glastonbury/2010/photos/thomyorke/

Worst Moment

Being told after 4 hours of driving that “You still have a long wait ahead of yous. A really long wait.” By a man in a Rangers strip is never a good moment. But the drive was quickly forgotten once we arrived and got that first cider in. The worst moment of the week was every day at about 8.30 waking up in a sauna, no matter how late you went to sleep the night before. Then getting out of the tent only to find it’s just about as hot out there and it wont cool down for another 10 hours.

Best Food

Lot’s of vegan, fairtrade and exciting food on offer. The Thali cafe curry was delicious but nothing comes as close to what happened about 5 and half hours into our drive. An enterprising Mcdonald’s managerhad sent staff out to the roadside with a trayful of Mcflurry’s. Never has a tub of frozen fat tasted so good. Now that’s capitalism.

Best Newcomer

Edd Read was a late addition to the lineup, meeting the London boys on the bus over. Added an extra dimension to the banter.

Worst Tip-off

Crystal Castles at 2am at the Glade. Told to Sam by the head of Unversal music.

Best Nap

Given the heat of the weekend, the John Peel tent became a stanard nappig location, and the heat on Saturday afternoon was unbearable. Myself, Jenny, Sam and Jamie had a fantastic nap to some very loud rock n roll from cymbals eat guitars. After the 2 hours of sleep we’d had the night before, nothing was going to wake us!

Best Video

Edd Read captured a great moment, when he noticed a cameraman getting quite agitated watching the England game on his monitor. See it here!

Worst chat

A woman in the circus field was compere for a very small stage and as we passed she was talking to precisely no-one. She managed to collar a passer-by and asked him if he was grubby, then proceeded to ask who thought they had the biggest stains on their clothes. When no-one responded and the initial person had wandered off she then asked if another passer-by if they wanted a lick of her ice cream. He obliged and then she decided she didn’t want it anymore because someone had licked it. Bizarre, awful chat.

Best chat

The most hotly contested category of the weekend, so I’m going to have to do a top 3, and I’m sure I’ve missed some out. I should warn, if anyone outside of the group that attended Glasto happens to be reading this, this is extremely niche banter.

3rd Place – Beak>to headline Pyramid Stage. Standard set of banter revolving around Beak> whipping up the crowd into a frenzy, get there early or you’ll be right at the back, do a bit of crowd surfing/moshing to Beak> and them playing a crowd pleasing set of their pop classics.

2nd Place – The “special guest” on the bill will be a Dougie Payne solo vuvuzela set. Also expanded to be a possible supergroup consisting of Dougie Payne (Bass player – Travis), Fran Healy (Lead singer – Travis), Andy Dunlop (Guitar – Travis) and Neil Primrose (Drums – Travis)

Winner – Some absolutely superb banter from Sam where he asked Greg to take a photo of him, then asked a passer-by to take a photo of the two of them, then asked the photographer if they could get a shot with him in it, so asked another passer-by to take a photo of the three of them, then asked that photographer if they could get a shot with him in it so got another person to take a photo of the four of them. This carried on for a good dozen iterations until they gathered a massve crowd, with people wanting to take the next photo. Absoutely hilarious, good, clean, harmless fun. Well done Sam – you won the weekend!

Snow!

February 3, 2009

This is my heroin

December 12, 2008

I’ve just discovered this

It’s called Fantastic Contraption and describes itself as a “fun online physics game”

From this point onwards this is what I do. Don’t bother trying to call me.

I declare the festive period…open!

December 8, 2008

I’ve been holding back on officially declaring the start of Christmas. People have different views on when Christmas begins, some say it’s when they hear the music in the shop, some when it gets freezing cold, some miserable buggers will whinge about anyone who mentions Christmas more than a week before the event.

I, however, have a different criterion. The festive period begins once I see the Hellman’s mayonaise advert that goes to the tune of 12 days of Christmas. I saw that advert on Saturday. So let the festivities commence!!

Kilroy-Silk in the jungle

November 13, 2008

I am slightly obsessed by Robert Kilroy-Silk. Daytime TV presenter turned racist turned prime time quiz show presenter turned politician turned I’m a celebrity get me out of here contestant. All that and he still found time to create the Daleks. It says here that his specialist skill is “chopping wood”.

 My favourite things Kilroy related are him writing the European Parliament to complain about Marks & Spencer mirrors distorting women’s figures  (Thanks for the heads up on that one Robin), Paul Merton telling him to shut up on Have I Got News For You and him presenting “Shafted”, when he does the “Shaft” hand gesture

I am quite excited at the prospect of him being in the jungle – it may even tempt me to watch the show (which by the way contains the least famous person I think that has ever been on the programme the fiancee of Peterborough United footballer Tom Williams)

Also, I took this photo in Amsterdam last year, it appears he’s branching out into being a racist travel agent too.

travel-agents1

Sorry this post was a bit disjointed, I could go on all night about RKS but I’ll end things here. I’d love to hear any Kilroy related incidents/stories/dreams that you have though.

bye xx

Doing my bit for small business.

October 24, 2008

With all this talk of a recession looming, and the political parties climbing over one another to say how they would be best for small businesses, I thought I’d briefly mention how I helped someone in my own little way with their enterprise.

During my time in Peru, I met a young entrepreneur, who came to me with a business proposition.

“Shine your shoes mister?” He said with a Peruvian twang.

“No thanks lad, as you can see I’m wearing a dirty pair of adidas trainers, you won’t be able to polish these bad boys up” I replied, without breaking a stride. These trainers were the only thing that had been on my feet for 6 months (Bar a pair of flippers I went diving in), they had been covered in mud, soaked through, climbed a volcano and much more, and were really dirty and stank.

“Go on. Only one sole (20p). Please?”

I admired his tenacity, as he followed me down the street for half a mile, so finally I relented.

So he shined my shoes, and I gave him a couple of soles. (Despite him trying to hike the price up to 16 soles midway through the polish)

So, in all their glory, here is the end result, my shiny trainers!

Blogging old material. Allowed??

October 24, 2008

Not sure if this is good blogiquette, but since I’ve only just put my holiday photos on my PC I’m going to do it anyway and blog some older stuff.

My first one is a pic I took in Australia I think – it amused me greatly

 

"ALCOHOL"??

What were they selling?

Question.

October 18, 2008

I have an important question, something I hope you can clear up for me. Which is the coolest bit in Tron?

The discs?

or the light cycles?

 

Votes please!

Rock Werchter

July 12, 2008

Last week I was in Belgium for the Rock Werchter music festival. Here is a summary of what I found

Best Band – The National

Great set from a band I knew virtually nothing about, even though they’ve apparently been going for a few years now. They sounded like a souped up version of Tindersticks (If you don’t know who Tindersticks are they sound bit like Vic Reeves’ club singer impression). Fantastic.

Runners up : Grinderman, Radiohead

Best Song – Bittersweet Symphony by the Verve

Caught me by surprise this one, didn’t think I liked this song, but there you go. Almost made me feel proud to from old Blighty, Gawd bless ‘er. The new Sigur Ros song with all the clapping was good too, no idea what it was called, probably something like Smjörið er smátt hrært út í þangað (Running through the glade, where the faeries sometimes come)

Best Costume – Jonsi Birgisson (Sigur Ros)

Looking like the bastard son of Adam Ant and Edward Scissorhands, there was only one person ever in the running for this contest. Unfortunately can’t find a pic to put here, but there are pics on the Rock Werchter website if you care enough to take a look… (Go to Report->Day 3 -> Sigur Ros). He also probably won nicest/most unassuming frontman award, we liked Jonsi.

Best facial hair – Grinderman

A hotly contested category this one, with a disappointing showing from Kings of Leon, who were expected to have it sewn up, but were well off the pace. Strong showings from Justice (Great muttonchops), and Sigur Ros (The keyboardist had a marvellous Dali-esque moustache, and could easily make a career being a mid 19th century dastardly villain if Sigur Ros ever goes down the pan). But Nick Cave’s horseshoe moustache, coupled with Warren Ellis’ Grizzly Adams style clinched it for Grinderman.

Worst moment – Counting Crows

I had a bit of misfortune in that I caught the first 4 songs of the Counting Crows set. At the time I didn’t think I could like this band any less. I now like this band even less. Midway through the third or fourth song, some dirge, the lead singer started to force himself to cry, it just looked ridiculous, at no point did you believe that he was crying due to the song meaning that much to him, it was just a piece of theatre. A rubbish piece of theatre. In this time of economic strife, please don’t spend your money on buying Counting Crows albums, they have enough money. And if you’re considering seeing them, please don’t, instead, pay me the price of the ticket and I’ll slap you round the face a few times, which is a little more fun (at least it is for me anyway).

Best Dancing – Over and Over by Hot Chip

We had a great jump around to this tune. Simple as that.

Worst excuse – Pete Doherty

Babyshambles didn’t turn up to play, and it turned out that the reason apparently was that Pete Doherty had to take care of his pregnant cat. If by his pregnant cat he means smack, and by take care of he means inject, then I am probably inclined to believe him…

This concludes my little awards show, but if anyone has any other categories they wish me to arbitrarily allocate a winner to, I’d be more than happy to oblige.